I have transitioned to a Fediverse platform called Micro.blog. Please read this informational blog post for more information. I am no longer actively posting to this site. Please join me at apoorplayer.blog.
More Light: The Winter Solstice
Dunkirk, NY – This Northern Exposure clip comes from the 4th season episode Northern Lights, which explores the theme of light during the winter solstice.
Goethe’s final words: “More light.” Ever since we crawled out of that primordial slime, that’s been our unifying cry: “More light.” Sunlight. Torchlight. Candelight. Neon. Incandescent. Lights that banish the darkness from our caves, to illuminate our roads, the insides of our refrigerators. Big floods for the night games at Soldier’s Field. Little tiny flashlights for those books we read under the covers when we’re supposed to be asleep. Light is more than watts and footcandles. Light is metaphor. “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet.” “Rage, rage against the dying of the light.” “Lead, Kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom; lead thou me on! The night is dark, and I am far from home- Lead Thou me on!” “Arise, shine, for thy light has come.” Light is knowledge. Light is life. Light is light. -Chris in the Morning -twl
resistance
A hawk hangs
mid-air, defying
the shifting winds
Why I Quit Actors’ Equity Association
- At 72 years old, I believe the time has come for me to semi-retire from acting (I don’t think actors ever really retire). The bulk of my career has been spent working in the theatre community of Buffalo, NY, and I have been very happy doing so. Buffalo has a thriving and active theatre scene, and I’ve always been proud of the work it has produced. But given my age and my “type,” I do not see a lot of opportunity ahead for me. Additionally, I live outside of the city limits, and the commute when I’m in a show has become more difficult as I have aged. It seems the wear and tear of a 35+ year acting career is finally taking its toll.
- While I do believe that there will be fewer opportunities for me in Buffalo, what opportunities that might exist would be easier to explore and accept as a non-union actor. It is well-known to all Equity actors in Buffalo that most theatres shy away from hiring Equity actors due to the higher costs and paperwork involved. Over my career since joining Equity, I can point to at least three examples of times when I was up for a role, and the director wanted to cast me, but was denied by the producer due to my Equity status. At this point in my career, while my perception is that my casting potential is diminishing, should a “bucket list” role be offered to me, I no longer want my AEA membership to serve as an obstacle to accepting such a role.
- Tangentially, the greatest benefit of being an AEA member in Buffalo was the higher salary scale. But at this point in my life, that’s no longer a concern. I don’t need the extra money that an Equity contract would offer me. I am grateful to have worked enough shows to have a small Equity League pension to go on top of my Social Security and investment income, so the pension money compensates for the decrease in salary as a non-union actor.
- I also no longer expect to be cast anywhere outside of Buffalo. I do not audition on any regular basis and am not looking for work on a national level.
- Finally, I wish to become more involved with theatre projects closer to home and at the community level. In the summer of 2023 I had a polite but contentious exchange with Ms. Meghan Mackowiak concerning a request for a performance waiver so I could perform in a local community theatre’s new 10-minute one-act festival that they were attempting to get off the ground. I requested the waiver so that I could volunteer for the organization and perform in two of their shows. My request for a waiver was denied, on the grounds that Equity only grants waivers for educational and religious purposes. It seems that Equity members cannot volunteer their talents for good causes. I went ahead and performed in the shows anyway without the waiver and without a contract, and informed Meghan I was doing so, so as to be transparent and above board. Nothing further came of it. Given my experience in this instance, and realizing that my desire to work with local theatres is completely hamstrung by my AEA membership, it behooves me at this point to resign my Actors’ Equity membership so as to pursue my interest in becoming more involved with local community theatres, helping them grow and prosper and bring live theatre to the region.
est
here for the long haul
the grey daylight settles in;
eastern standard time
bassline
such a long long time
to be gone, and a short time
to be there – thanks Phil

fall
every falling leaf
sings to me as it floats by:
“Be mindful of death”
leaves
the autumn leaves lie damp,
kissed by the soft morning rain –
careful not to slip!
equinox
grey autumnal days:
a freight train whistle whispers
“Keep moving! Move! Move!”
acorns
ten thousand acorns:
which is the oak tree? and which
mere food for the squirrels?
![]()
