Non-Participant

Today marks the beginning of trying to open up NY State. My region of the state, however, does not meet the necessary requirement to “re-open,” so we continue on “pause” until we do. At the practical level, it means the city of Buffalo has to have less COVID-19 cases to meet the standard. As of today, their hospitalization rate still is trending up. So we wait a little longer.

Personally I am somewhat torn about this situation. I understand and sympathize with both sides. My greatest fear is that the people too eager for re-opening will endanger everyone else. When I read the stories about people crowding bars and beaches and other recreational spaces like lemmings, I fear what will happen next in those areas. Because the virus is random, it’s not going to be just the people who put themselves at risk. It’s going to be the innocent who will pay for this stupidity. This is what I have a hard time grasping – why other people cannot see that their behavior endangers not just themselves, but other people whom they do not know.

I can’t begin to count the ways I have been lucky throughout this entire pandemic. I live in a county where the virus has not hit hard – 44 cases and 4 deaths. I had food stocked up even before the pandemic hit, so I’ve been OK with food (and yes, toilet paper). My kids are OK where they are. Apart from the dip in my retirement funds my money is OK. One of our local deli markets has made getting groceries a breeze – call in, place an order, pick it up. I only have to go into a store maybe once every two weeks or so. In reality, the pandemic has not really impacted my daily life much.

What makes me incredulous, though, are the things people believe are so critical to their lives. In a lot of ways it’s almost pathetic. Tattoo parlors, beauty parlors, barber shops, massage parlors, bars, restaurants, bowling alleys, DisneyWord, you name it – these are the things that seem to be so important to people. I find the self-centeredness, stupidity, and selfishness of this to be staggering. It’s really revealing of how deep white privilege is rooted in American society, because almost exclusively it’s white people wanting all these petty things. It’s also indicative of how deeply entrenched the service economy has become in our culture, as so many people now depend on being part of the service economy to make their living. I won’t even get into how clearly this has exposed the gaping inequality maw in the US today. Others have written about that with more expertise than I could. But make no mistake: this push to “open America” is a push being backed and financed by America’s oligarchs, using their white, conservative, racist stooges to push to have the US’s lowest paid workers sacrificed to keep their profits high.

I don’t participate in any of this. My wife buzzed my head a few weeks ago; no big deal. I’ve been ordering curbside if I want food, and for the most part it’s really as a sign of support more than I have a need to get restaurant food. My wife likes to cook a lot and we eat interesting recipes. Who needs to go to the movies (although I have to admit my wife enjoys going to movie theatres much more than I do)? Perhaps I’ve been hit hardest by the lack of baseball, but I’ve developed some satisfying alternatives. I’m simply not invested in any of the activities that people seem to be longing for. I’m not sure if I was this aware of how much of a non-participant I was in modern culture until this pandemic hit, but I am now. And I have no illusions – my ability not to participate is just as much a reflection of my own privilege as anything else you can name. Hundreds of thousands of people can’t make the choices I can make (although anyone can make the choice not to get a tattoo – who needs that shit, really?).

The only thing that’s hit me hard is the inability to travel. I’ve written all of 2020 off as far as any travel journeys are concerned, and will wait to see what opportunities next year brings. I’m probably going to get the RV in shape for short journeys in NY and PA if nothing else, nothing more than a day’s drive. I’m going to invest some time and money in shaping up my camping land as well. The key for me has simply been to avoid all those things that would bring me where crowds are. People can do what they like as far as I am concerned, as long as I don’t have to be anywhere where it’s crowded. I think NY has been smart so far, smarter than most states, so if people in GA or MI or WI feel it’s their right to expose themselves to a deadly disease, by all means have at it. I’ll be staying at home, walking in the park, and generally avoiding the mass of society. As Forrest Gump said, stupid is as stupid does, and there appears to be a whole lot of stupid out there these days. Best simply to avoid it and not participate in the madness. So open up, America – just don’t expect to see me walking through the door.