Dunkirk NY – Although I gather that today is the first day of spring, it really doesn’t show up until 11:49 PM according to my astronomical calendar. What is nice, of course, is the fact that more light is returning. This is something of a mixed blessing where I live, because although more light is always welcome, that does not mean that more sun comes along with that. Cloudy days remain the norm in March, and temperatures will still be under 50 for some time to come.
I made the effort to get out today, as I had yesterday. Walking relieves some of the anxiety associated with hunkering down, and helps to pass the time. It seems that the best thing I can do in these new times is do everything I can NOT to get ill in any way, so that I don’t put pressure on the medical system. A good daily walk helps with that. I usually do two days of walking and a day of rest, but I may change that day of rest to a lesser walk. 30-40 minutes per walk is good for now. When the weather gets better I’ll be getting on the bike in order to feel like I’m traveling a further distance.
What seems to hit me most at the moment is the disappearance of the future. One always has some plans for the future in some form. For me, I have two theatre gigs lined up. I had also begun to think about some RV travel. I’m still trying to nail down what kind of plan I need to form so as to avoid winters. But with the need to remain home, the future is unknowable. The news is dire and seems to predict the worst out of what I assume is “an abundance of caution.” I personally am thinking 6 months of this, with no ability to leave the area until the fall. I think my summer show will not take place; not sure about the fall one. The awareness of an unknowable future is perhaps what causes the most anxiety in me. Living day to day is all well and good, but doing so without being able to project a future is disconcerting.
Spring was always a relief when it came up on the calendar. Baseball was near, the days were getting longer, warmer weather was on its way. Spring always spoke of the future, with its sense of re-awakening. This particular spring, I am not so sure. Nature will eventually turn to its spring and summer look and feel, but I can’t shake the notion that a wintry dread will hang over the coming months as the coronavirus pandemic continues to take its toll. -twl