Dunkirk NY – The hardest thing for me to come to terms with in these drastically changing times is the feeling that there are no more destinations. The one thing I tended to think about every day when I got up is “where can I go today?” Aside from taking a walk in the local park, nowhere. It’s not that I often went someplace, mind you. But the removal of even the possibility of going somewhere is now off the table.
On top of this, the feeling of being in two mindsets at once is difficult to reconcile psychologically. When I look out the window, nothing at all appears to have changed. I watched my neighbor across the street raking winter leaves from the edge of his driveway. People walk up and down the sidewalk. There seem to be no more or no less cars going up and down the street. If I were completely shut off from the news, I’d hardly know of any difference.
Looking at news reports, though, makes me understand that the outside world is blowing up in many ways. Streets in major cities are empty. Hospitals are under duress. Businesses are closed, and people do not congregate as they once did in the streets.
I sense on occasions that, on top of social distancing, I have to practice cognitive distancing by trying to separate myself from the news. But it’s hard. When I walk in the park I think of people with no way to get to the park. When I eat a meal I think of all the people that won’t be eating a meal. When I check my portfolio I think of all the people losing jobs and paychecks. My mind can’t resolve this kind of large-scale dissonance, and so cognitive distancing becomes a way of coping.
In a rather ironic way, these three years I’ve taken since retirement to withdraw and chill have served the present moment well, in that I am now quite used to spending my days with my wife at home. Apart from not having to go to the store too often (about the only task I’ve been doing on something of a regular basis), little has changed for me. But so much has drastically and suddenly changed for others. I think in the upcoming months, managing the current situation will require a thorough practicing of cognitive distancing. I can only hope the effort will not corrupt any sense of empathy for other people who are in far worse situations than I am. -twl